the hateration is coming from inside the house

I've never been a math whiz, which might be why it took a couple decades to crack the following equation:

If everyone is making me mad, the only common denominator is...me. Which means I'm potentially responsible for my own annoyance.

Damn it.

That means myself should be pissed at myself. Or does it? Here's where I make math work for me.

I might not be accounting for important variables. What if "x" equals a coordinated effort to get under my skin? Maybe the square root of "y" is a virulent viral strain that makes everyone send me obnoxious emails and leave ignorant voicemails. See? According to math, it turns out the forces of evil are gathering for the sole purpose of pissing me off.

So, I'm not responsible because the math says so. Vindication by half-cocked theorem is totally awesome. Thanks math!