I am definitely not on the list

I'm pretty square. I've never really been all that cool and I don't ever expect to be considered part of the "in" crowd. That's just how I roll. Or don't, seeing as how I'm all right angles and lacking in curved surfaces...

Geometry humor is definitely not cool.

I'm quite happy being uncool. Sure, it means I've got to reach my daily quota of awkward discourse and I never figured out how to make my hair do that trendy fauxhawk thing, but I can deal with the scant negatives of being a nerd.

I probably can't get into the club, but I'd really rather not go to the club in the first place. It's awfully loud in there and why are people willing to pay that much for a mojito?

Historically, the ladies aren't in love with nerds. However, being uncool didn't stop me from marrying someone way, way, way cooler than I could ever hope to be. Of course, she's also a pretty big nerd. Whoa. Paradox.

The positives of being uncool are numerous and varied, but most of all, being uncool means I just don't need to worry about being cool. It just seems like an expenditure of effort that's better spent writing blog entries extolling the beauty of an uncool lifestyle. Comic books, video games and an amazing wife who somehow transcends conventional stereotypes to exist on a heretofore unknown plane of ultrahip nerdiness that makes traditional standards of social stratification obsolete? Awwwwwesome.

Everyone should be so lucky. But instead of being lucky, a whole lot of people are out buying skinny jeans and learning super new dance moves. My jeans are comfortable and don't inhibit circulation. My dance moves are classic. Nerds for the win.